Whats On Your Mind? Or as called by me, My Show!
by biblehermione
Summary: Whit has a show with four secret co-hosts and they ask Star Wars characters questions! Leia's coming on next! Please send in questions for her!
1. Introduction

Disclaimer:Okay, do I look like Terri Minsky or George Lucas?  
Audience: *yelling* NO!  
Whit:Well, then. Thats settled.However, I do own myself!  
Audience:*cheers*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
*Whit walks onto the stage*  
Whit:Hello, and welcome to My Show! On this show, we interview Star Wars   
charecters with your questions!  
  
  
Random Person in Audience:Thats boring! BOOOOOOO!  
  
  
Whit:*icy glare to person*  
  
  
Person:*freezes in carbonite*  
  
Whit:Anyways, as I was saying, you send in questions, we answer them! Also. I   
have 4 co-hosts! Please give a hand for....MIRANDA SANCHEZ!  
  
  
*Miranda walks out wearing a black turtleneck and a long black skirt*  
Miranda:Hi everyone!  
  
  
Guys in audience:*whistle*  
  
  
Girls in audience:*hit guys on the head*  
  
  
Whit:My second co-host, and Miranda's bestest friend, LIZZIE MCGUIRE!  
  
  
*Lizzie walks on wearing the worlds scariest color, pink*  
  
  
Whit:*gasps* Lizzie! Nooooooo! Please! Change! CHANGE!   
  
  
Lizzie:*odd look* Okay...*goes off and comes back in a purple t-shirt and   
blue jeans*  
  
  
Whit:Much better! And our 3rd co-host, DAVID GORDON!  
  
  
Some girls in audience:*cheer*YAY!  
  
  
Gordo:*entering*Call me Gordo. Please. I hate David..Its too normal...  
  
  
Miranda:Whatever.  
  
  
Whit:And the special, 4th co-host, WICKET!  
  
  
Wicket:*walks on* Yub yub! *waves*  
  
  
Audience:Aww! How cute!!!!  
  
  
Lizzie:EWWW! ITS A MUTANT BEAR! AHHHHHHHH! *jumps into Gordo's arms* *dies*  
  
  
Gordo:O.O I liked that before she died...  
EMTs:*enter* *carry Lizzie off to the morgue*  
  
  
Lizzie:*wakes up* I'm okay! LET ME GO!  
  
  
EMTs:*shocked* *put stretcher down*  
  
  
Lizzie:*runs back and sits down in her chair*  
  
  
Gordo:Lizzie, Wicket is not a mutant bear. He's an ewok. From Endor.  
  
  
Miranda:Whats an Endor?  
  
  
Gordo:*sighs* Never mind...  
  
  
Whit:Who should our first guest be?  
  
  
Lizzie:Not another mutant bear!  
  
  
Gordo and Whit:-_-; He is not a mutant bear, for the last time...  
  
  
Lizzie:Whatever.  
  
  
Miranda:*looking through Whit's "Star Wars" dicitonary*How about...Anakin   
Skywalker? He looks cute.  
  
Whit:Okay then! Our first guest will be Anakin! *whispers to Miranda* But   
he's   
married.  
  
Miranda:*snaps fingers* Mud!  
  
  
Wicket:Yub yub!  
  
  
Lizzie:Send in your questions!  
  
  
Gordo:Bye!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Okay, so PLEASE send questions for Anakin! Or just send comments. I'll try 


	2. Anakin

Gordo: Welcome back to "Whats on your mind?"  
  
Whit:THATS NOT THE RIGHT NAME! ITS CALLED "My Show!"!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miranda:*gets out her trusty baseball bat and hits Gordo and Whit with it* Now...Please  
give a hand for ANAKIN SKYWALKER!  
  
Lizze:*leads Anakin out onto the stage* *drooling*  
  
Anakin:*whispers to Miranda* Is she okay?*points to Lizzie who is still drooling*  
  
Miranda:Yeah, she does this at least three times a day.  
  
Anakin:Okay...*sits down*  
  
Whit and Gordo: *wake up* *both get out pieces of paper*  
  
Wicket:*blinking* Yub?  
  
Whit:Okay, Anakin, you got some questions from very nice people, and if you don't  
answer them, then I will cry.  
  
Miranda:So I will be able to have free reign over you...*evil laugh* *lightning flashes*  
  
Wicket:Yub! *hides behind Lizzie*  
  
Lizzie:*picks up Wicket and hugs him because she is scared too* I know, mutant bear...I  
know...  
  
Anakin:I'll answer them! J-just keep her away from me...*slides chair away from Miranda*  
  
Whit:Okie dokie! *chibi happy face* Question one is from obsessive. "can I have a hug?  
can I have more than that please?"  
  
Anakin:Well, sure...*hugs obsessive and hands her an Official Darth Vader mask complete  
with asthmatic breathing*  
  
Whit:Awww...That was sweet...*gets out tissues*  
  
Miranda: OK, ihadanepiphany asks-Why did you steal C3POS arm? WHy not just get a  
prosthetic one like Lukes?  
  
Anakin:Well, I actually didn't steal C3PO's. And at the moment, prosthetics had not been  
invented  
  
Miranda:She also asks why do you keep losing your lightsabre? How the...Umm...I can't  
say that. Anywho, how does Padme keep falling for you since your so sappy?"I mean  
declaring your love every five minutes is not the best way to pick up a girl, so how did he  
manage it?"  
  
Anakin: I am a klutz and scatterbrained-  
  
Whit:Hey, me too! *looking for her shoes*  
  
Anakin:*continuing* And she's a real romantic.  
  
Lizzie:And she has good eyesight...  
  
Anakin:*shrugs*  
  
Miranda:Alyssa asks "How do you feel about people spelling your name Anikin?"  
  
Anakin:Its annoying. But I can see where it could happen....  
  
Gordo:*takes piece of paper from Miranda* "You do know you are the cutest guy in any  
Star Wars trilogy. How does it feel to be better looking than your son?"  
  
Anakin:You really think that Gordo?  
  
Gordo:No. I was quoting Alyssa.  
  
Anakin:Ohhh...Well, I'm really not that cute....*blushes*  
  
Gordo:*eyes grow wide at next question* Ummm...."Do you ever spank your monkey?  
You know, beat your meat? Kill some kittens? *wink, wink* Padme's not always around."  
  
Anakin:HUH?!  
  
Gordo:My thoughts exactly..."Some fanboys hate you because your a "pretty boy" any  
responses to them?"  
  
Anakin:They have nothing to be jealous of...Thats my response.  
  
Gordo:Okay...From Andy...Wicket: YOUR SO CUUUUUUUUTE!(hugs him) How does  
it feel to be a co-host? And an andorable fuzzy one at that!  
  
Wicket:*hugs back* *happy voice*YUUUUUUUUUUUUUB!   
  
Audience:Awwww...  
  
Lizzie:*grabs list from Gordo*"Who do you think is the hottest actress in general?:"  
  
Anakin:I dunno...Probably Jennifer Anniston.  
  
Whit:*pokes head form under the couch 'cause she's still looking for her shoe* You  
watch "Friends" too?!  
  
Anakin:Yeah...  
  
Whit:*gives him a "thumbs up" sign and continues to look for her shoe*  
  
Lizzie:"(This one could also be for everyone if you want) Out of these 4 comic book made  
in to films, which one do you like the most, and why? The movies are Blade, X-men,  
Spiderman, Superman, and Batman? Personally my favorite is Blade." Mine's  
Batman...George Cloony is hot in that....  
  
Whit:*mumbles something from under a chair and hits her head* *loud mumble*  
  
Gordo:Superman, definatly!  
  
Miranda:Spiderman. I loved that upside down kiss...Awww...  
  
Anakin:X-Men rules!  
  
Wicket:Yub yub!  
  
Lizzie:"If you could change the color of that famous Darth Vader suit, what color would  
it be? You can even make it have different patterns too. And it has do be beside just  
black!" *mutters* Black looks hot on him....  
  
Anakin:Weeeeeeelll.....Probably navy blue at the moment. But my future self would say  
hot pink with frilly stuff and lace...  
  
Whit:*screams in horror from under the stage* *pokes head out* PINK?! PINK?!  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *stops screaming* Ooooh...Look...My shoe!  
*picks up shoe, runs back on stage and grabs list from Lizzie* "Lizzie: HOW CAN YOU  
SAY THAT WICKET LOOKS LIKE A MUTANT BEAR!? He looks like a teddy bear  
more than a mutant bear! YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHED! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?"  
  
Lizzie:B-but he looks like one to me....Teddy bears that I like are more pi-*Miranda  
covers her mouth*  
  
Whit:Okay...AnglFrmAbv asks "Hey, Anakin... Have you ever caught Obi Wan wearing a  
skirt??? If so did you take a picture of him? Anyway... will you bring out Obi so I could  
chase him and steal his boxers/underwear????????"  
  
Anakin:No...I never have caught him wearing one...And he has had crushes on women, so  
I doubt he WOULD dress up in a skirt...  
  
WHit:We'll have Obi on sometime soon...*hands the questions to Lizzie.  
  
Lizzie:Next question is from Aphy, whose show "Its a Bloody Conspiracy!" RULES!   
  
Whit:Yeah! Its totally better than this one. ^-^  
Lizzie:Anyways, she asks "Do you know I am sadly married to your master Obi-Wan  
Keonobi? *screams*  
  
Anakin:He did mention something about an insane girl randomly selecting his name from  
her brain, although it was the only thing in there at the time he believes.  
  
Whit:HOW DARE HE INSULT HER LIKE THAT?! Miranda! Go!  
  
Miranda:*goes off and beats Obi-Wan into an oblivion (A/N Miranda always seemed like  
the most agressive of the three...Not violent like this though, I agree.Oooh...That  
rhymed!)*  
  
Gordo:*sighs and shakes his head* Aphy also says "You are as cocky as me, you should  
be proud!"  
  
Anakin:WHAT?! Wait, no one is cockier than me!  
  
Miranda:Is that even a word?  
  
Wicket:*shrugs*   
  
Miranda:Asrien asks "Who is better looking, Padme or Leah?"  
  
Anakin:Leia is my daughter, so I think she is very pretty as every father thinks of his  
daughter or daughters. But, Padme of course. She has been my love for over 10 years.  
  
Everyone else:Awww...  
  
Miranda: "Do you like potato chips?"  
  
Anakin: I love all kinds except for those baked ones.  
  
Whit, Miranda, Lizzie, Gordo, Wicket:*gag*  
  
Miranda:"Do you know that Padme is like 10 years older than you? And that she looks  
EXACTLY the same and don't you thik it is a lil bit suspicious?  
  
Anakin:Padme is actually only 4 or 5 years older than me. And she just ages well.  
  
Lizzie:Wafflecat asks "What kind of underware do you wear? I would REALLY like to  
KNOW...."  
  
Anakin:At the moment, boxers, but in the future I would like to try a pink silk thong.  
  
Whit:*screams* BAD IMAGE! *falls out of her chair*  
  
Girls in audience:*scream as wild fangirls should and chase Anakin out of the studio*  
  
Miranda:*shudders*   
  
Gordo:Well, thats all for today...  
  
Wicket:Yub!  
  
Lizzie:*flipping through the SWD* Whoa...CUTE!  
  
Miranda:Lizzie...Put the book down, NOW!  
  
Whit:Next guest will be Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker!  
  
Gordo:That is a long name...  
  
Miranda:*trying to take the book away so she can see the pictures* *waves to camera*  
Bye! 


	3. Padme

Whit: Ciao, everyone!   
Miranda: Today's guest is Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker.  
Gordo: She's hot too.  
Whit and Miranda: *give Gordo odd looks*  
Gordo: I am just trying to be normal. I thought that y'all liked that  
Whit: I don't, I think normal equals ewww...  
Lizzie: Before we bring out today's guest, I have some comments/ questions.Andy says "Whit: Your cool."  
Whit: Wow, thanks! *hugs Andy*  
Lizzie: *holds up sign that says "I was going to say 'Teddy bears are more pink'"*  
Gordo: Now, our guest, Padme Naberrie Amidala Skywalker!  
Wicket: *leads Padme out*  
Padme: *leans down and hugs Wicket* Thanks for warning me.  
Wicket: Yub!   
Miranda: Hola, Mrs. Skywalker!  
Padme: Thanks, umm...  
Miranda: My name is Miranda Isabella Sanchez. Hopefully one day Miranda Isabella Sanchez Craft...  
Everyone else: *odd looks*  
Lizzie: The names don't go together. Now, Elizabeth McGuire Craft sounds so much better.  
Whit: What about Elizabeth McGuire Gordon?  
Everyone else: *gasp*  
Whit: And I just said waaaay too much. Anywho! Padme, we have some questions for you.   
Padme: Okay. Go.  
Gordo and Lizzie: *still in shock* *fall over*  
Miranda: *looks at her best friends and shudders* Padme, Kaika Tenshi asks "Doesn't it feel just so completely weird to be in love with/married to a guy younger than you are???"  
Padme: No, I love Anakin a lot...Although, the rabid fangirls do get annoying.  
Whit: Bummer.  
Wicket: *sadly* Yuuub...  
Miranda: Dark Side Luke says "I'm your son and I joined the Dark Side. What do you think of that?"   
Padme: It depresses me. I always thought Luke would be the sensible one.  
Whit: Why?  
Padme: He never crawled into the busy streets like Leia.  
Everyone else besides Lizzie and Gordo: Ohhh...  
Whit: Andy asks "Did you ever want to try wielding a lightsaber?"  
Padme: I had to use Anakin's once when he got his head stuck in-between two posts.  
Miranda: *shudders* Bad memories...  
Wicket: Aww...  
Miranda: Andy also says "When Anakin was younger did you find him whiny?  
Padme: No. Just odd...  
Whit: Hey, being odd isn't always bad.  
Miranda: Totally. Its the difference between becoming a cheerleader, and not. Andy also asks "Did you ever have the yearning to blow all the politics and become a bad-" okay, not allowed to say that. Anywhoo, basically, did you ever want to become a bad girl?  
Padme: No. I am a goody two shoes...  
Whit: SHOES! SOCKS! WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?! *looks for socks*  
Wicket: *concerned look*  
Miranda: Anywho. Thanks for visiting, Padme.   
Padme: No problem! Au revoir! *walks off*  
Miranda: Our next guest will be Obi-Wan Keonobi from the end of Episode Three. Thats all for now!  
Miranda and Wicket: BYE!  
  



	4. READ ME NOW, PLEASE!

*sniffles* I'm only on my 4th chapter and they want to kill me?! *sniffles* Okay, okay...*deep breath* I'm going to see if this fic survives. If it does, I'll write the next chapter within 2 weeks. I love you all! *huggles* 


	5. Important NoteWe've relocated

Okie, I'm going to keep the first chapters of this up, but not continuing. The rest of tis show will be posted at Aphy's site  
  
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bloodyconspiracy/  
  
It has more shows there, too. :-)   
I love you all! 


	6. Obi Wan

Miranda: Well, we're all sad about the killing of the talkshows!  
  
Audience: YEAH!  
  
Miranda: SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT IT?  
  
Crickets Chirp.  
  
MIranda: Well...Anyone?  
  
Random person: START A TALKSHOW SITE!  
  
Miranda: YEAH!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Whit: *giggles* Well, someone in the Aphy Circle came up with the idea. I forgot who  
though... Oh well. Today's guest is...  
  
Miranda: Obi-Wan Keonobi!  
  
Everyone cheers.  
  
Random Person: Where are Lizzie and Gordo?  
  
Whit: Oh them... *points to chairs where both Lizzie and Gordo are sitting in shock, still*  
What is it with them? Haven't people said that around them before? I mean... They've been  
attatched at the hip for nearly fifteen years...  
  
Miranda: Nope. You're the first, genius.  
  
Whit: *hides under a couch* I'm sorry!   
  
Miranda: Come on out, hostess.  
  
Whit: Okie! *comes out from under couch* WIIIIICCCCCKKKKKKEEEEEET!  
IIIIIIT'S TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!  
  
Wicket: *looks annoyed and leads Obi out*  
  
Obi: *sees Miranda* AH! *runs backstage and out the doors, but lots of rabid fangirls are  
out there*  
  
Whit: That Fangirls 'R' Us sure does come in handy... And they deliver too!  
  
Obi: *comes back inside, with torn clothes and a few very obsessive fangirls hanging onto  
him*  
  
Miranda: *goes over and drags the fangirls away* *comes back a few minutes later*   
  
Obi: I-I am scared... Trapped...  
  
Whit: You'll be fine as long as you dont diss Aphy.  
  
Wicket: *narrows eyes* YEAH!  
  
Lizzie and Gordo: *seem to be waking up* Huh?  
  
Whit: Thank Fuzzy! *hands them pages of paper with questions on them*  
  
Lizzie: Oh.. Umm... Sethozasks why did you train Anakin, besides the fact that  
Qui-Gon wanted you too?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well, Anakin needed some guidance, sooo....  
  
Whit: But then he kills ya, dude.  
  
Obi: WHAT?!  
  
Whit: NEVERMIND! YOU NEVER HEARD THAT!  
  
Obi: *raises eyebrows*  
  
Gordo: Blade Malfoy Celebare, a GREAT author (Seriously, read her stuff. She's  
super-talented) says "End of Episode III, does that mean Eppy IV? With Old Obi? Aww, I  
wanted to jump young Obi... :p"  
  
Obi: Oh my. O.O  
  
Gordo: She also says that this is really funny, Whit.  
  
Whit: Awww! Thank you! *wipes away tear* You like me! You really really like me!  
  
Gordo: Blade also asks if Obi will go back to his Ep. 1 self and go on a date with her?  
  
Obi: I can't.  
  
Whit and Miranda: *glare*  
  
Obi: Hee hee...I meant "I can't give up that opportunity," of course! Hehe... Is it just me  
or is it kinda warm in here?  
  
All besides Whit and Obi: *shuddering from the cold*  
  
Whit: I guess that's the poll from the audience and co-hosts.  
  
Gordo: Blade says "You rule for shoving Anakin in to the lava! But why not finish the  
job?"  
  
Obi: It was an accident! *bursts into tears*  
  
All: Awww...  
  
Lizzie: *hands Obi a tissue*  
  
Obi:* blows his nose and hands the tissue back to Lizzie*  
  
Lizzie: *mouthing* EW! *tosses the tissue off the stage and it lands in an audience  
member's hair* ObiGirl says you're very hot and now she's scared that she scared you.  
She asks how did you manage to train Ani for all those year without killing him or  
seriously injuring him? You must be superhuman!  
  
Obi: Well, I have my lollipops that the Council gave to me for not hurting him, so...  
  
All: Ohhhh...  
  
Whit: Firebyrd, YEAH! THE REBELLION RULES! Code name: Anrui Yuy says "Dear  
Obi-wan Kenobi,  
First off if you could have five things from the twenty first century what would they be? If  
you could change five things about the whole Star Wars storyline what would they be?  
AlsoIf there was ONE rule you could change about being a jedi/padwan what would it be?  
A friend,  
Anrui Yuy"  
  
Obi: Wow. She seems intelligent... Anywhoo. A clone, a cell phone, a journal, a laptop, a  
copy of the AotC DVD so I could spy on Ani and Padme... *evil laugh*  
  
Whit: *glares at Obi* THAT IS JUST WRONG TO DO! FAAAANGGIIIRLLLLS!!!  
  
Fangirls: *run through doors*  
  
Obi: I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT ALL BACK!  
  
Lizzie: Fangirls, retreat!  
  
Fangirls: *disappear*  
  
Obi: Thanks... To answer the second question, That I die, that Yoda dies, the fact that the  
librairian at the Jedi library is so mean, that Qui-Gon dies, that Amidala EVER came into  
the picture because she caused Anakin to go to the dark side and it made me look like a  
failure and then I had to train the little brat named Luke, and AND!   
  
Gordo: Obi, deep breaths!  
  
Obi: *DEEP BREATH!*  
  
Gordo: Now, exhale, inhale, repeat.  
  
Obi: *does so* The third question: That we can't marry. Then, I'd marry some sweet  
non-rabid fangirl.  
  
Whit and Miranda: AWW!  
  
Lizzie: *raises eyebrows* What's so sweet about that?  
  
Miranda: It's a matchmaker thing.  
  
Lizzie: Oh.  
  
*Crickets chirp*  
  
Gordo: Anyways... Andy asks "How can you be here if episode three hasn't been created  
yet?"  
  
Obi: Whitney has connection with the senshi of time.  
  
Whit: It's true. Polka Dotted Socks, thanks!  
  
LIzzie: LunaDea says "Funny! Anyways, question for Obi-Wan: Do you secretly have a  
crush on Padme? And do fangirls scare you?"  
  
Obi: EW! No! She was a fabulous queen, pretty, and nice, but no, I did NOT have a crush  
on her! That's sick! And, yes, fangirls scare me... *curls into a ball and hugs a pillow*  
  
Whit: AnakinsOnlyAngel, Cool! Thanks so much! *hug and cookie* Anyhwoo, the genius  
known as AnakinsOnlyAngel,asks  
1. Is it true that your Padawan Braid was only a clip on? Because it switched sides once...  
2. Will you make Anakin divorce padmé and marry me? PLEASE!! I'll make it so Anakin  
will never bug you again if you do!!!  
3. Why did you grow your hair long?  
4. Will you marry my BFF, Bob! (she's a girl!)  
  
Obi: 1.No, my hair is just THAT WAY! Now leave me alone... *goes off to sulk but  
fangirls attack him* AHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs back and jumps into Whit's arms*  
  
Whit: AH! Go away! *throws Obi on the floor and backs away*  
  
Obi: *rubs head* That hurt, y'know...  
  
Whit: Well, too bad! *sticks out tongue*  
  
Obi: 2. HE'S MARRIED?! AHHHHHHHHHHH! *dies*  
  
Fangirls: *have funeral* *bury Obi with tears of sadness*  
  
Obi's ghost: Wait, I need to finish the saga! *Obi wakes up*  
  
Fangirls: *scream with joy!* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *hug Obi and almost kill him by  
smothering him with happiness*  
  
Obi: TOO MUCH LOVE, TOO MUCH LOVE! *fangirls back off* Thanks.  
Number 3: To remeber Qui-Gon... *sniffle* He was the father I never had...  
  
Whit: *hug* *gives Obi tissues*  
  
Obi: *sniffling* 4. Sorry, I can't. I'll be her friend, though... I need a friend.  
  
Miranda: pokenerd56 asks: How did you feel when:a)You discovered Anakin was  
married?  
b) When he became a bad dude?  
  
Obi: Shocked! Dismayed! I feel like a failure now! *cries*   
  
Whit: *gives Obi a BIG HUG* You know what... You can stay here with us, if you want  
to. I'll make the rabid fangirls go away. You just seem to pathetic...   
  
Obi: *sniffles* *smiles* Thanks.  
  
Whit: Anytime!  
  
Gordo: Well, that's all for today. Thanks, peeps!  
  
Miranda: WAIT! We need a guest for next time!  
  
Lizzie: How about this Han Solo person...?  
  
Whit: Sure! Ciao, peeps!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~So, we have a new co-host! You can now send questions for Obi all  
the time! Please send question for Han! Bye for now! 


	7. Han

Whit: Welcome back, peeps! It is time to start with "My show!"  
  
Gordo: *mumbles* I still think it's a stupid title.  
  
Whit: Well, it is my show. I can name it what I want to!  
  
Gordo: Whatever. *mumbles something about becoming a Goth  
  
Random Gordo Fangirl that got past security and has super good hearing: GORDO IN  
BLACK!!!! OHMIGOSH!  
  
Miranda: *drags the RGFTGPSAHSGH out and to Fangirls 'R' Us because they are  
stocking low on fangirls*  
  
RGFTGPSAHSGH: *screaming as Miranda drags her out* WE ALL LOVE YOU  
GORDO! AND I KNOW WHERE YOU LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!  
  
Gordo: *whimpers; hugs Lizzie*  
  
Obi: *slowly shakes head* Anyways, our guest today iiiiiiis... Han Solo! Bring 'im out  
Wicket!  
  
Wicket: *merrily wobbles out and attempting to hold Han's hand like he usually does*  
  
Han: *mumbles about rabid monkeys and mutant bears*  
  
Obi: Oh dear. It is starting to slowly take 'im on.   
  
Whit: Yeah. He has been on FF.net too long. O.o  
  
Han: *glares* It isn't my fault. It's those slash writers... And crazy people....  
  
Lizzie: Fanficiton writers are all crazy. Like, duh! *motions to Whit*  
  
Whit: Yes, but thank Fuzzy we aren't all slash writers. I hate slash... Icky!  
  
Miranda: *walks back in* Slash...? *eyes widen in horror*  
  
Whit: It's okay, 'Randa. We were only talking about how bad it is.  
  
Miranda: Oh, that's okay. ^_^  
  
Han: Can I go now?  
  
Whit: *in a Gollum-like voice* No! Hisss.... You have questionsss....  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Whit: *in normal voice* Sorry, Lord of the Rings obsession.   
  
Han: *slides chair away* *knocks into Wicket's chair*  
  
Wicket: YUB! *whacks Han on the head*  
  
Han: Stupid rabid muntant bear!  
  
Lizzie: Wait, I thought...?  
  
Gordo: Han! You are confusing her again!  
  
Obi: Trying to get something through a dumb blonde's skull is like trying to turn a ranchor  
into a vegetarian.... *notices all the blondes are giving him death glares* Hehe...  
*sweatdrops*  
  
Whit: As I was saying, before the hairist interrupted us... *glare*  
  
Obi: Eep.  
  
Whit: Han has questions.  
  
Lizzie: Why no triple 's?  
  
Gordo: 'Cause that's the way the world works!  
  
Whit: Yeah! Anywhoops, Obi, you have questions,  
  
Obi: Finally, positive attention.  
  
Whit: *shifty eyes* Maybe they are positive and maybe they aren't  
  
Han: I'm leaving! I know I dun have any fangirls! So ha! *gets up and walks out*  
  
Whit: Dang, he's right! They didn't have any Han fangirls at Fangirls R Us... *sniffles*  
  
Lizzie: *puts away phone* But they had Ewoks at Cool Critters R Us!  
  
Whit: Sweet! ^_^  
  
Han: *backs into room backwards; ewoks are pointing spears to his face* Okay, okay...  
*trips on a book that Miranda purposefully threw out, 'cause she is mad at him*  
  
Miranda: *claps* SCORE!  
  
Lizzie: Thanks, guys!  
  
Ewoks: Yub yub! *salute Lizzie; leave*  
  
Han: *glares at Miranda* That wasn't very nice.  
  
Miranda: Too bad! *sticks out tongue*  
  
Han: Brat.  
  
Miranda: Creepo!   
  
Han: Grrr....  
  
Whit: These insults are boring, guys. You can just yell at the end.  
  
Miranda and Han: Whatever.  
  
Whit: Anywhoops, Han, remnants_2011 asks "Why in the world do you like Leia?!She's  
nasty!And Ugly!"  
  
Han: I am in love!  
  
Obi: I was once too... *sniffles*  
  
Han: *continuing* Good grief, the woman is not ugly, she is beautiful! Gorgeous!  
Breathatking!   
  
Whit: We get the point, Romeo!  
  
Han: *sighs* Anyone who insults my Leia dies!  
  
Whit: No killing reviewers!  
  
Han: I'll kill them afterwards.  
  
Whit: You do and I'll send Legolas out to get you!   
  
Miranda: You don't know Legolas.  
  
Whit: I do too! *gets out her newest fic and points to the part where she meets the  
fellowship*  
  
Miranda: Oh yeah.  
  
Whit: This is what Leggy does to bad people. *gets out the DVD and shows that scene  
where Leggy got the Orc from, like, a mile away*  
  
Han: O.O I will not kill reviewers....  
  
Whit: Good boy! *pats Han on the head* ^_^ Obi, that person also asks this of you,  
"Why did Qui-gon hate you?  
Oh, and why do you hate flying?"  
  
Obi: QUI-GON DID NOT HATE ME! Grrr!  
  
Miranda: Control your anger, Obi.  
  
Obi: *takes a deep breath* I hate flying because I had a terrible experience as a child.. My  
cousins' great godmother's father's stockbroker's ex-lawyer's college roommate died on a  
plane when they choked on a peanut.  
  
All: Aww....  
  
Miranda: That really bites... Anyways. Next question.Sethoz asks Han "What do you think  
of Leia and Luke kissing?"  
  
Han: She did it to make me jealous! I know she did!  
  
Whit: Naw, duh.  
  
Miranda: Obi, they also said that they will be your friend, too.  
  
Obi: Thanks. *hugs Sethoz*  
  
Miranda: Sethoz sent cookies for everyone!  
  
All: *go and hug Sethoz* We luv you!  
  
Lizzie: For Fuzzy's sake, don't kill the child! O.o  
  
Everyone returns to their seat.  
  
Gordo: Blade Malfoy Celebare says-  
  
Obi: Oh no, no her! *hides*  
  
Whit: For greif's sake, Obi! She is not *crosses fingers* a rabid fangirl!  
  
Obi: You lie!  
  
Miranda: *reaches under couch and pulls Obi out by his hair, but he scampers back* Oh  
for the love of cheese... *goes down and totally rips the entire couch off of the floor, picks  
Obi up, and throws him on it* And stay there! *goes back to chair, sits down and  
straightens skirt*  
  
All: O.o  
  
Gordo: Anywaays... Blade asked this *gets out tape recorder and Blade's voice comes out  
of it because his throat is hurting today*  
  
Blade's voice form the magical recorder: LOL!!! I almost fell of my chair from laughing!!!  
That was SO STUPENDOUSLY FUNNY!!! *gasp wheeze hack cough*  
  
Obi the cohost! Heee... Eherm. *clears throat* I have questions for Han! Surprisingly...  
uh, Han dear, how do you feel being the only non-Jedi amongst a load of Force-sensitive  
Skywalkers and their offspring? I mean, there's Luke, Mara, little Ben, your own kids  
Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin... it's gotta feel pretty weird. *Gordo stops recorder*  
  
Han: Oh, boy! It does! All these dylusional, crazy, whiny, ex-assain kids running around!  
And some are mine! AND THEY ARE FORCE SENSITIVE! AHHHHHHHHH!   
  
All: O.O  
  
Lizzie: It's okay, Han... *hugs him*  
  
Han: *sniffles*  
  
Gordo: *starts recorder again*  
  
Blade's voice: Also, I'd like to let you know that I have Boba Fett's head on a plate, if you  
want it. I know he caused you a lot of grief.  
  
And finally, what's it like, being frozen in carbonite?  
  
Han: I would like that! *smiles* Frozen in carbonite...? Smells like the inside of a dead  
ranchor.  
  
Lizzie: That is just nasty! EW!  
  
Han: I'm only being truthful. *shrugs*  
  
Blades voice: To my dearest Kenobi-Wan: I'm sorry for scaring you! I didn't mean it,  
really! I think you're cool, even when you're old... and dead... O.o Here, this might help  
you. *tosses him 'Rabid Fangirl-B-Gone'* Also, one question for the new co-host... other  
than Lizzie McGuire, which I'm sure you watch, being on Whit's show and all, what other  
Disney channel shows do you watch?  
  
Obi: It's okay. Dead? *turns to Whit* What does she mean?  
  
Whit: It's a looooong story. You never knew it happened... *waves hand* ^^;  
  
Obi: *raises eyebrows at Whit; shakes head and sighs* Thanks for the Rabid  
Fangirl-B-Gone. It'll come in handy. I watch Boy Meets World! That is a lovely show.  
  
All: B.M.W.? Lovely? O.o  
  
Whit: Weeeirdnesss....  
  
Han: She's doing it again! With the triple 's! AHHHHHHHH! *runs out*  
  
Lizzie: No need to call Cool Critters R Us. He did not have anymore questions  
anywhoops. O.o  
  
Miranda: Weird.  
  
Wicket: Yub.  
  
Obi: Well, that's it for this edition of... Whatever this show's name is..  
  
*At the same time*  
  
Gordo: "What's on your mind!"  
  
Whit: "My Show!"  
  
Obi: Yeah, what they said. Hehe... Next guest is...  
  
Miranda: Luke Skywalker!  
  
Obi and Miranda: Bye, people! *both wave to camera* 


	8. Luke

Whit: Hiya peeps!  
  
MoJo JoJo: YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR IMPROPER USE OF DIALECT!  
  
Whit: Aw, shut it.  
  
MoJo: NO!  
  
Lizzie: Why is he talking in all caps?  
  
MoJo: BECAUSE THAT IS THE WAY I AM!  
  
Gordo: Yeah yeah... *drags the screaming MoJo to "Cool Critters R Us"*  
  
Miranda: O.O That was... Interesting...  
  
Author Whit: I'M HYPER!!!!!  
  
Lizzie and Obi: Eep! *hug eachother*  
  
Gordo: *walks back in and looks shocked, ala "First Kiss"*  
  
Lizzie: Gordo, you okay?  
  
Gordo: Um, yeah, yeah....  
  
Miranda: *gets that scary "I-know-what-you-did-last-February" look*  
  
Obi: What did I do last February?  
  
Miranda: *looks at him WITHOUT the scary look* What does that have to do with anything?  
  
Obi: *shrugs* I dunno...  
  
Whit: Before we waste anymore cheese-sponsered time, lets bring out our guest for today! WICKET!  
  
Wicket: *toddles out, with Luke following him*  
  
Mad Fangirls From Outside: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HE IS WEARING BLACK OHMIGOSH!!!!!!  
  
Miranda: Oh can it, creepos. *throws a dead tuna in their faces* *mutters* Almost cost me my musical career by blowing out my eardrums, why don't you...  
  
Whit: Hiya, Luke!  
  
Luke: O.O Where am I? Who am I...?  
  
Obi: Oh for pity's sake...  
  
Gordo: *mumbles* You steal my potential girlfriend AND my famous lines...  
  
Obi: HUH?!  
  
Gordo: Never mind!  
  
Luke: *still rambling* What is a toothpick...? Why are they pointy...? Who are the muses...?  
  
Miranda: Uhhh.... Lukie? *waves hand*  
  
Luke: Oh, huh?  
  
Miranda: You gots questions! And... Um... some comments. O.o  
  
Luke: Oh, okay. Shoot.  
  
Wicket: *gets out bow and arrow and aims*  
  
Luke: NO! I meant her!   
  
Wicket: *mutters obsceneties in Ewokish... O.o*  
  
Miranda: Okay. Firstly from Alexa Wessner.... "what's his REAL gender?"  
  
Luke: Oh my.... I am a male of course. Duh.  
  
Miranda: Quite obvious. "What whent through his mind when he got a hair cut, what was he trying to copy his sister's buns, cuz he looks like a girl."  
  
Luke: WHAT?! I DO NOT! Grrr....  
  
Whit: NO ANGER! Anger, bad. Coke, good...  
  
All: O.o  
  
Whit: Uh, sorry... ^^ Anywhoops... Umm...Alexa asked some more.... Very interesting questions O.o Some would raise the rating of this show, though, so y'know. Sorry. ^^; But she obviously does not like you... *hands Luke the list of questions*  
  
Luke: Umm....   
3. I'm not  
4. No and no  
5.NO!  
6.What do you think?  
7.No... That is physically impossible. O.O  
8.....  
9. I dunno  
10. No, sorry.   
  
Whit: *takes back list and shakes head* Okay... QueenSmithy asks Obi this...  
  
Luke: Obi? As in Obi-Wan Keonobi?  
  
ObI: Yeah, Luke.  
  
Luke: OHMIGOSH!!!  
  
Obi: Yeah, yeah.... Stop looking so shocked, Luke. Your face may get stuck that way.   
  
Whit: Anywhoops she says "In my Harry Potter cross-over fic, Obi turns evil, sending Anakin to a strict Bulgarian wizard school (long story if you have't read the fic)...but has Obi ever considered a career change, maybe to become a sith lord? Any evil thoughts ever crossed his mind? Like maybe blowing up star-systems, taking over Coruscant, etc...?"  
  
Obi: No. Although I do look quite nice in black, ne? *motions to outfit*  
  
Rabid Fangirls Watching On TV: *drool*  
  
Obi: O.O; Ummm... Luke, she asks ": Don't you feel strange being called Luke in a galaxy full of people with really bizzare and occaisonally daft names?"  
  
Luke: Well, now that you mention it, yeah! I mean we have Han and Leia.... Who names their child Leia anyways?  
  
Obi: Your insane mother.  
  
Padme from backstage: I HEARD THAT!  
  
Obi: Eeep... O.O;  
  
Gordo: QueenSmithy asks this also... For all of us... "Where are all the baby pigeons? You see baby sparrows and baby black birds, but ever ever baby pigoens. Is it a conspiracy? Are the pigeons we see in fact the babies, and adult pigeons about 6ft tall and invisible? I need to know!?!?!?!?   
Thanks!"  
  
Miranda: OH YEAH! CONSPIRACY IS WRITTEN ALL OVER IT!!!! THE GOVERNMENT!  
  
Obi: You do realize you need professional help, right?  
  
Gordo: I have been saying that for ten years....  
  
Lizzie: Awww.... Baby pigeons! How cute! ^_^  
  
Wicket: Yub!  
  
Whit: *pokes head from under couch: Conspiracy...?  
  
Luke: Pigeons...? What the heck?  
  
Whit: These! *holds out regular dictionary*  
  
Luke: Odd things...  
  
Lizzie: Like, duh!  
  
Gordo: Blade Malfoy Celebare has "a load of questions" for Luke, starting with "How does it feel being the offspring of a whiny, bratty, good-for-nothing loser?"  
  
Luke: I'm proud I did not inherit his traits! ^_^  
  
Gordo: "Why were you so whiny in Episode IV?"  
  
Luke: ....I just said I am not whiny... -_-  
  
Miranda: "Do you miss Ben? Do you know the co-host is Ben the younger?"  
  
Luke: Yes and yes! He did not tell me himself, the meany!  
  
Obi: Oh, shut it blondie.  
  
Lizzie: "I think it's so cute you named your son Ben!! Ok, that was more of a comment than a question, but... oh well."  
  
Luke: It was the only name Mara and I agreed on. Her relatives were all named names I liked... "No no no! My cousin's stepsister's aunt's brother is named Warrick!"  
  
Whit: "What's your opinion on cloning?"  
  
Luke: It's fun! See? *motions to his army of "Lukeplicates"  
  
All: O.o  
  
Rabid fangirls: OHMIGOSH!!!!! *break past security and each take on Lukeplicate for themselves*  
  
Luke: O.O  
  
Security:* drag fangirls out, whom of which are doing inappropriate things with each of their Lukeplicates...*  
  
Whit: EWWWWW! EDIT THAT OUT! THAT IS JUST SICK AND WRONG!!!!!!!!!  
  
Editor: Yes ma'am! *edit quickly*  
  
Lizzie: "Your lightsaber dueling rocks. Did you know that?"  
  
Luke: Why, thank you! I was taught by the best.   
  
Obi: Thanks!  
  
Luke: No, not you. Your older self!  
  
Obi: I'll get you for saying that. "When your sister kissed you, was it icky?" LEIA KISSED YOU?! WAS SHE POSESSED?!  
  
Luke: Aw, shuddup, shorty. And no... I was embaressed though. *blushes madly*  
  
Obi: "Are you familiar with the song "Yoda"?" Yoda has a song?  
  
Luke: Yeah! It rules!  
  
Whit: "What did that glop Yoda fed you in Episode V taste like?" That junk looked nasty...  
  
Luke: Basically what she said... But it tasted the same way.  
  
Whit: "Are you gonna kick booty when you're dead like Obi-Wan does?"  
  
Luke: Fuzzy, yeah! ^_^  
  
Whit: "And one for Obi-Kenobi.... Did you know your hairstyle is called a 'mullet'? Did you know that's really a creepy 80's thing?"  
  
Obi: My hair is a fish??  
  
Whit: Mullet are good. They are bait and they taste pretty good too. ^^  
  
Miranda: Venus725asks "1. you know, your hair makes you look like a girl, and it scares me..."  
  
Luke: It does not look lie a girl... -_-  
  
Miranda: "2. why were you so whiny in the beginning, and then cool in the end?"  
  
Luke: I matured over time! Yay me!   
  
Whit: "3. what does getting electric lightning bolt thingies from a wacko emperor that happens to like pi- oops, i mean "coral" colored thongs feel like?"  
  
Luke: I though Palpatine liked pink.  
  
Whit: WHAT?!?! HOW DARE YOU MENTION THAT COLOR!  
  
Luke: Eep... *cowers*  
  
Miranda: Great. Now you've done it, whiny-boy.  
  
Luke: *sniffles*  
  
Whit: *kicks in wall... as in literally, through it. O.o* *growl* "4. do you like cheese? bananas? i hate bananas, but i like cheese. and eggs."  
  
Luke: *still cowering* No.  
  
Gordo: Whit, calm down. Or I will make Mommy shrink you.  
  
Whit: *glare*  
  
Gordo: *glares back*  
  
All: *watch*  
  
Whit: *deep breath* Okay. I will calm down. Venus also says "1. obi, i am NOT a rabid fangirl, believe me...i just think you are the best star wars charcter ever...even better then your sometimes annoying although very fine apprentice. i know you can't marry me (sadly) so...will you take me out on a date? please? i swear to god i'm not ugly!!! please? i'm NOT a rabid fangirl!!! i'm 5 '5", tan, with dark, wavy brown hair, and i won't get on your nerves. please? i can change the ways of the star wars plot...i have connections...you just might be able to love..."  
  
Obi: Oh dear... O.O;  
  
Lizzie: "2. will you sing for me, or sing come what may with me? i have proof *holds out copy of moulin rouge, puts it in and begins to drool as we see obi/christian singing come what may*" You sing?  
  
Obi: It was a long time ago. *cough*  
  
Miranda: Suuuure... She gives you chocolate chunk cookies.  
  
Obi: *eats a cookie* Mmm... Thanks! *hugs Venus*  
  
Luke: Now why do I not get cookies?  
  
Miranda: *gives him a Kudos M&M's bar* Here. They're good.  
  
Luke: *looks it over* Thanks. *eats it* Mmm....  
  
Gordo: "4. was ani annoying to you more when you were training him, or when you first met and he was little?"  
  
Obi: BOTH! Creepy little "Yippie!" kid... Ugh.  
  
Gordo: She said you and Yoda fight well and "tell him that even though he's green, he's cute, as in like teddy bear cute...horrified look, NOT the other way!"  
  
Obi: Okay.  
  
Luke: May I leave?  
  
Whit: NO!  
  
Miranda: "6. you were cool no matter what, quoting blade malfoy celebare, and your beard is sexy, although i liked your shaven face better."  
  
Obi: I am now very disturbed...  
  
Luke: They thought you were sexy when you were DEAD?! THAT IS JUST SO SICK!  
  
Whit: *whacks him with a tuna* NO INSULTING THE REVIEWERS!  
  
Gordo: "7. don't be scared of blade malfoy celebare, her talkshow is cool! and so is this one, and so is anakinsonlyangels! i could go on, and on, and on..."  
  
Obi: I'm not scared of her... I think she is very funny, actually. And talented and pretty a-  
  
Miranda: Sounds like you like her. *rubs hands together menicingly*  
  
Obi: *snaps out of it* Do not! *blushes*  
  
Miranda: Suuuure... "8. i'll be your friend, even if you decide to take me on a date...*pleading look*  
  
Obi: I need a friend.  
  
Lizzie: "9. will you teach me the ways of the force? i'm not as annoying as ani and luke, plus i'm a girl, and we all know teenage girls mature faster then teenage boys, *coughanakincoughlukecough* and were smarter." Amen to that...  
  
Obi: I can't have another apprentice. Sorry.  
  
Lizize: "10. if you were asked to go to the dark side (he was, wasn't he...but it wasn't direct enough, cause doo- tyrannus was pretending to be good...)would you? *yells, PLEASE SAY NO!!!!*"  
  
Obi: Of course not!  
  
Whit: That is the last of the questions.  
  
Luke: *smiles madly* That means I can go now?  
  
Whit: Yes. Leave.  
  
Luke: YAY!! *skips off stage... and is attacked by rabid fangirl with their Lukeplicates*  
  
Miranda: That was... Weird. Anywhoops! Next guest is...  
  
Wicket: Leia!  
  
All: Bye, peeps! 


End file.
